Sweet and Sour
by C.Queen
Summary: Umeda's sick and has a fight with Akiha over Ryoichi,the two parting ways. Later Umeda dreams that he is visited by Mizuki's daughter, come to help him fix his screwed up love life. Can showing him the future save him from his present?
1. Temperatures Rising

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else which by now everyone should know. Thanks to all my loyal readers and I hope you enjoy this latest fic. Thanks again for reading and have an awesome day!

Temperatures Rising

"If you don't get out of my office this minute I swear to God, Allah and every other deity known to man that I'll castrate you." Umeda snarled, glaring at the younger man who grinned back at him, obviously not getting the fact that he was perfectly serious about this. He wasn't feeling well which was very bad for Akiha. Especially if the annoying bastard didn't make like Tom and Cruise, Umeda thought darkly, his glare piercing. If only looks could kill...

"You're such a sour puss today." Was the cheerful reply, the young photographer used to Umeda's threats. Since he'd discovered the fact that his current favorite person in the world was working nearby he'd made it his goal to drop by whenever possible. After all these months of the doctor's constant abuse and threats, Akiha was nearly unflappable when it came to Umeda's threats. Since he'd just been threatened with castration, that was saying something.

"Shut up." Barely managing to restrain his growing urge to go looking for a scalpel Umeda turned his chair so that his back was to Akiha. Rubbing his temples with his fingers Umeda closed his eyes in frustration, his shoulders slumping dejectedly. He was too worn out to get out of his seat and kick the annoying idiot out. As it was, the bastard would just come back again. He always did. Like that annoying cat from that kid's song. He'd always hated it as a kid.

Walking around the desk Akiha took a seat on the top of the desk, looking at Umeda with growing concern. Something had to be very wrong if Umeda wasn't literally kicking him out after having him around for over ten minutes. "Are you okay?" He asked, cocking his head to the side questioningly as he studied Umeda's face. "Do you have a headache?"

"Yeah, its name is Akiha."

* * *

Used to such cracks Akiha hopped off the desk and moved to stand between Umeda and the wall, crouching down slightly so that he was on eye level with Umeda. As a photographer his business was to absorb and analysis the people put in front of him to photograph. Reading the doctor's face Akiha wasn't surprised to see pain as well as annoyance in Umeda's eyes when they opened to shoot daggers at him. "I think you need some R and R." Akiha stated bluntly, for once being straight to the point as opposed dancing around it. "Mizuki said that you haven't been feeling well the past couple of days. You won't be much good here if you're sick too."

"Did he now. Well my health isn't his business, much less yours." Umeda resorted, grinching his teeth as his head continued to pound, worse now that he had Akiha to deal with. He'd been fighting a bug of some sort for a week and Akiha definitely wasn't the cure for what ailed him. More like poison. The idiot did ride around in a Bug after all.

"He's just worried about you." Akiha stated as he shook his finger at Umeda who looked ready to chew nails or his finger off. Of course they both knew that Mizuki was a girl and that the other knew this. They'd just silently agreed not to ever bring it up, one of the few things they ever agreed on, Akiha thought dryly. Right now he needed to get the sexy but incredibly stubborn doctor to go home early for some rest. You'd think a doctor would take better care of himself.

"Well if you want me to feel better, get the hell out of my office!" Lurching to his feet Umeda weaved slightly as the blood rushed to his head. He'd been sitting too long, he thought dimly, even as he felt strong hands latch onto his shoulders. Blinking in annoyance he swatted at them, not really surprised when Akiha ignored the hint. "Let go, you idiot." He snarled, vaguely surprised at the strength of those hands. Who'd have thought?

"Like hell I will!"

"You never listen to me!"

"Oh and that's not calling the kettle black."

"Shut up, you pig headed, girlie haired idiot!"

"You shut up, you stubborn, prickly assehole!"

"Don't tell me to shut up!"

"Then don't tell me to shut up!"

* * *

The two glaring at each other it was a toss up as to who was angrier. Umeda was mad as hell that he was too out of it to give Akiha the ass kicking he was just asking for and Akiha was pretty angry at the doctor as well, hating to see the doctor in this state almost as much as he hated it when Umeda called him an idiot. "Just leave me the hell alone." Umeda ordered roughly, using his strength to push away from Akiha, causing himself to go stumbling back against his desk. Akiha, taking advantage of this, moved in and boxed Umeda in against the desk. He was not going to be ignored.

"Not until I know you're going to start taking care of yourself." Was Akiha's stubborn reply as he glared right back. He wasn't afraid of Umeda after all. Well..at least not in this state. Umeda was always a force to be reckoned with but right now he was looking like hell warmed over. He'd just have to risk his health and force the doc to see reason, Akiha decided with firm resolve, hoping that it wouldn't involve too much bloodshed. His blood in particular.

"Fine, I'll show you I'm okay and then you can LEAVE!" Using his strength Umeda pushed Akiha away, managing it only because Akiha had thought the older man had nothing left strength wise. Heading straight for his medicine cabinet Umeda got out a thermometer and deftly stuck it under his tongue defiantly, glaring at Akiha who simply stood in front of him, quietly waiting for the results without comment. After enough time had passed Umeda pulled it from his mouth and stared at the number in disbelief. Wanting to be sure he went over to his desk and retrieving his glasses looked at it again. "Well, hell." He muttered, dropping the thermometer on the desk.

Picking it up Akiha read it, only knowing enough to know that it probably shouldn't be that high a number. "Is this really bad?"

"No, but it's not good either." Running an annoyed hand through his hair Umeda could feel how hot his skin was against his hand. Damn. Now he was going to admit that Akiha might have been onto something when he'd said he was too sick to be here. He was just used to feeling out of it this early in the morning, seeing as he was never completely awake until at least noon. But the headaches, loss of appetite and the lack of energy really were clear indicators that he shouldn't have ignored. He just really hated being sick so he tended to deny it when he was. Well except when he'd been in school, then everyone had known. He'd disliked school even more then being sick. No one had been able to understand why he'd chosen to work in a school, even if it was all boys. How to explain the joys of being the one making the younger generations lives living hell.

* * *

Akiha thought about saying that he'd told him so but didn't want to make things that much worse. The last thing he needed was for the doctor to go into denial again, just to spite him. He would, the doc was twisted like that. "So you'll be okay with some rest and stuff?" He asked cautiously, watching Umeda like a hawk in case he got dizzy again.

"Yeah." Shaking his head he picked up the phone to inform the principal's secretary that he'd caught the bug that was going around and that he was heading home. He figured after a solid day's rest and relaxation he'd be up to coming back tomorrow. She wasn't pleased with the news but she was too afraid of him to argue.

Akiha didn't agree with his plans to be back the next day but he knew that he was lucky to get Umeda to admit that he needed to take the day off to begin with. After Umeda got off the phone Akiha poised his next point which was likely to piss the doctor off even more but had to be said. "You shouldn't drive home in this condition you know."

Giving Akiha a dark look Umeda was already plotting all the terrible things he was going to do to Akiha once he recovered from this. First thing he'd do was take some scissors to that ponytail of his, Umeda thought darkly, closing his eyes for a moment to enjoy that image before opening them again. So what if Akiha had been right all along about him being sick? He was feeling lousy and he had to blame someone, Akiha being the favorite choice since he had made it his mission in life to annoy the hell out of him anyway. Turnabout was only fair play. Plus, it was a nice incentive to get better sooner since he couldn't make the pain's life a living hell if he wasn't physically up to kicking the son of a bitch's ass. "I don't have a car here anyway. I'll call a cab." He finally said, dragging his mind from his plotting long enough to respond to Akiha's nagging.

"I've got a car, why don't I drive you home? It will save you money."

"One, I don't like you. Two, do you really think I want to squish myself into that vehicle and three, I don't need to save my money and even if I did I wouldn't consider using it to get away from you a waste."

* * *

"For Christ sakes!" Eyes flashing dangerously now Akiha marched over, getting right in Umeda's face as he slapped his hands down on the desk, leaning forward so that their noses were practically touching. "What the hell is wrong with you? Maybe I am annoying some times but that doesn't mean I deserve to be treated like this every second of the day! I'm trying to help, you selfish bastard!"

Opening his own mouth to blast the son of a bitch good Umeda's cell phone went off like a network beeping out the swear words on a television show. Glaring at Akiha Umeda pulled out the phone, using it as an excuse not to yell and waste what little energy he had left. Seeing the number on his screen his whole demur changing as he quickly pressed talk and brought it to his ear, Akiha forgotten. "Ryoichi?"

Your voice sounds strange." Came the familiar amused voice on the other hand. "All that smoking you do is finally catching up with you I see."

"Maybe." Was his laughing reply, though it sounded forced even to his ears. God he felt awful now that he knew how sick he really was. What a time for Ryoichi to call too. The bastard had worse timing than Nakatsu.

"Anyway, I wanted to know if you were available tonight. Our usual place for nine?"

"Sure, I'll be there. Nine tonight."

"See you then." Was his careless response as Ryoichi hung up without even a proper good bye.

Turning his phone off Umeda returned his phone to his pocket than turning back to finish what he'd started with Akiha actually took a step back at the expression on the younger man's face. "What?"

"You're sick, barely standing, with a temperature in the danger zone and you're making a date tonight." His voice cold to the point of causing frost bite Akiha's eyes were dark with icy rage unlike anything Umeda had seen before. "He calls you and you run to him like a dog, don't you? He treats you like crap most of the time, always putting himself before you and you don't care, as long as he throws you a bone once in a while you're happy as a clam to beg at his feet."

Jaw dropping in shock Umeda couldn't think of what to say, unable to think of anything so that all he could do was stare dumbly at Akiha.

"Forget about the ride. I'm out of here and I won't be coming back. I have no intention of becoming like you, waiting at your feet for some small scrape of affection for the rest of my life until I die alone, bitter and cold like you. I'd sooner die right now." Turning on his heels Akiha marched out of the room, slamming the door hard behind him.

* * *

Using his desk for support it was ten minutes before Umeda even had the thought to call a cab. Akiha's words had been like knives and the fact that there was no blood loss visible meant nothing. Few verbal attacks had shaken him more and in those moments he'd been even more afraid of Akiha than he was of his sister. No, that wasn't right. Umeda thought as he tiredly pulled out his phone once more to place the call. It hadn't been Akiha that had scared him but the picture he'd painted of his own life. The life Akiha had described was too close to home for him to bear. Thankfully, he had a taxi service on speed dial and after arranging for his pick up made his way out of the room and slowly down the hallway to wait out front. He was going home and drugging himself to the gills so that he wouldn't have to think anymore. Completely forgetting all about the plans he'd made moments before all he could think about was escaping into oblivion where Akiha's words couldn't reach him.

"Doctor Umeda! Are you okay?" Turning his head slowly Umeda watched his favorite student, Mizuki, run over to him with a worried look on her face as she grabbed his arm. "Are you sick?" She continued, wrapping her arm around his waist as she moved to support him as she slid under his arm.

"Yeah, looks like. I have a taxi on the way."

"I'll help you to the main gate than."

She wasn't much help thanks to the height difference but he was glad for the company as they slowly made their way through the hallways. He listened to her ramble about everything that had happened to her since he'd seen her last and about how she was one of the few people in her group of friends who wasn't sick. Not making a sound he tuned her out, her voice enough as his thoughts went back to what Akiha had said. It was rare that he even listened to the bastard at all but this time his words had been directed too well to ignore or forget about. Was that really how Akiha saw him? Some mindless mutt who groveled at Ryoichi's feet and kept coming back no matter how badly he was treated? And was he? That was scarier and deeper than he wanted to look into himself.

Well aware that she was being ignored Mizuki could see that he was deep in thought so she stayed quiet, leading him out front and seeing him into the cab, paying the cab driver extra if he'd walk the doctor to his door to make sure he got there all right. Waving him off Mizuki could only hope that he resolved whatever had put that look on his face while he was recovering from his cold.

* * *

The cab driver seeing him to the door Umeda paid him the rest of the money and let himself in, dropping his briefcase to the floor without bothering to care if he banged it up or not. Shuffling through the hallway that led into the kitchen he headed straight for the fridge for some orange juice to increase his sugar levels and hopefully give him enough energy to make it to the bathroom where glorious medication waited. Draining the glass he filled it again to use for swallowing the pills and headed back into the other hallway, turning into the bathroom with a relieved sigh as he set the glass on the counter before weaving over to the medicine cabinet. Everything starting to blur around the edges he forced himself to focus long enough to concentrate on reading the labels with the too damn small printing. Finding what he was looking for he forced the lid open and dropping two tablets into his hand shoved the pill container back into the cabinet without bothering to put the lid back on properly. Stuffing the pills into his mouth he quickly followed them with a gulp of juice, draining the glass quickly as his vision blurred worse than before. Using the wall as a support he forced one foot in front of the other as he crossed the room to open the door leading into his bedroom. Making it to the bed through sheer will he collapsed onto the covers and was unconscious in seconds, all energy used up and gone.

* * *

Deep in slumber he dreamed that he was in a dark room where there was no lights and no sign of life anywhere. He was just standing in the darkness, nothing in sight but more blackness without a hint of anything going on around him. Than, faintly, a light appeared in the distance and slowly began to grow as it got closer and closer. Walking towards it out of instinct Umeda was surprised to see that the light was coming from a candle, one held by a small child with black hair and even weirder, Mizuki's brown eyes. The child couldn't have been more than five and once she was close enough he saw that she was smiling up at him with not only Mizuki's eyes but her smile as well. "What the hell...?"

"Mommy says you're not supposed ta swear in front of me, Uncle Hokuto." The child reminded him with a grin, cheerfully wagging her finger at him.

"Your Mommy?" Umeda repeated, wondering what the hell kind of dream this was supposed to be. "I don't understand. What the hel-What's going on?"

"I've come to help you, Uncle Hokuto." The child explained, reaching out to take his hand. "I'm gonna help you figure out what you're going to do tonight when you wake up again."

"What I'm going to do tonight?"

"Uh huh. Cause the choice you make is gonna be real important so I'm gonna show ya the consequences so you don't screw things up. I love you lots and lots so I want ya to be as happy as Mommy and Daddy. You aren't real happy right now, are you?"

"What the hell did I take instead of cold medicine?" Was all he could think to say.


	2. Ryoichi or Akiha?

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way it's going to stay unfortunately. Thanks so very much for reading and have an awesome day! Oh and please, please review! 

Ryoichi or Akiha?

Rather than answer him the little girl just smiled, their surroundings suddenly going blinding bright so that Umeda closed his eyes instinctively against it. When he opened his eyes again he found himself standing in an unfamiliar place, the girl's hand still tucked firmly in his own. Looking around the narrow hallway he saw doors on both sides, indicating that they were probably in a housing building since it was too empty and quiet to be a commercial building. "Where are we, Brat?" He demanded to know.

"My names Juliet, not Brat." She informed him, a pout forming as she stared up at him with her adorable face all scrunched up in annoyance. "And we're at the place you'll be living at in five years, Uncle Hokuto. Your Grandpa's going to buy the building and you're going to move in cause it's nicer and bigger than your old place."

"Huh." Thanks, Grandpa, Umeda thought, taking more of an interest now that he knew he'd be living here. "So what are we doing here anyway?"

"I'm going to show you what sort of difference your roommate is going to make." Was her prompt reply, a hint of a smirk on her face as she let go of his hand with an insistent tug. "Any minute now the you of six years in the future is going to walk out of that elevator and walk into the loft you're sharing with Ryoichi Kijima. You'll follow him in after the day from hell and see just what life is like now that you've finally landed the man of your dreams."

"The day from hell?" He repeated, not liking the sounds of that at all.

"Yeah. One of your students has been really ill lately and you insisted his parents take him in for some tests. It's cancer, a tumor in his brain. The doctors are going to try and operate but they aren't very hopeful. His parents called you today, to tell you the news and thank you for everything you did for him." A sad look on her face the little girl turned her head as the elevator chimed an arrival. "I can't go in with you...but I'll be here when you come out again. He can't see or hear you, so don't worry."

* * *

Opening his mouth to demand she tell him who the student was so that he could catch the disease even earlier in his own time Umeda's mouth closed as he watched himself walk out of the nearby elevator, looking like hell warmed over as he swung his briefcase back and forth. There were shadows under his eyes, a redness that went with the bleakness in his brown eyes as he moved stiffly, far removed from his usually arrogant swagger. The other him walked right past him without a word and Umeda found himself following automatically, watching himself walk up to the closest door and fishing out a set of keys jimmy it open. Stepping inside with him Umeda looked around curiously, watching himself stow away the briefcase and hang up his jacket in the messy closet. Following himself down the hallway towards the noise coming from another room Umeda stopped beside his other self , looking over his shoulder to see what had caught his future's attention. There was Ryoichi on a leather couch, his gorgeous head together with Masato's as the younger man showed Ryoichi some papers Umeda couldn't see from his angle. The two made a striking pair and seemed completely oblivious to the fact that they had company as Masato chatted about his daughter while Ryoichi listened attentively, a small smile on his face. The one he always saved for Masato alone. Feeling the familiar resentment and pain in his chest Umeda moved to get a look at his other self's face, seeing his own emotions written all over it. Then he was turning away and Umeda followed his self into another room which proved to be an even messier kitchen where plates were piling up in the sink. Definitely not his doing, he hated clutter, and leaving stuff out like that was just asking for mice or worse.

"Damn, he promised me he'd pick up the groceries and do the dishes." His future self said and Umeda turned to see himself sorting through the bare contents of the refrigerator, finally grabbing a carton of milk that he had to sniff first before getting a glass for it. Not really a surprise there either, Umeda thought, knowing that Ryoichi preferred to get others to do things for him whenever possible. What he was doing was always far more important than what anyone else was doing. Watching himself wearily chug down the milk Umeda frowned, getting the message Juliet was trying to send clear enough. Well he'd already known that Ryoichi was a selfish bastard, this wasn't exactly news to him. Giving serious thought to leaving Umeda found himself following his other self into the living room against his will, joining the pair still reclining on the couch.

* * *

"Ah, Umeda san! We didn't hear you come in." Masato called over in surprise, raising a hand in greeting while Ryoichi raised his glass in a silent salute. "I was just showing Ryoichi Hazuki's latest drawings of our new house."

"She's become quite the artist." Ryoichi added with an amused gleam in his eye, Umeda reading him easily enough to know that the man was no more interested in the pictures than he was but was pretending for Masato's sake. Masato was probably one of the few people Ryoichi humored like that outside the people he had to be nice to. "How was work?"

"Hell."

"Well have a drink, you'll feel better." Motioning to the open bottle they'd left on the coffee table Ryoichi set his glass back down on the table and picking up the cigarette box he'd left on the table took one out and lit it, taking a few drags as his lover and roommate declined the offer of a drink with a shake of his head.

"I think I'm going to quit those things. We should both quit for that matter." Hokuto said softly, watching his lover with eyes that were weary and half dead. "I had a kid's parent call me today, the kid I told you about. It's cancer. A brain tumor."

"That's awful!" Masato exclaimed, sending his best friend's lover a sympathetic look. "How old is he?" As a parent himself he could only imagine the horror of getting such news and that certainly explained Umeda's mood. How terrible!

"Fifteen. He wants to be the next Michael Jordan. They've given him a year at most if the operation isn't a success."

"Well that's no reason for me to give up smoking. If he's only fifteen than that's not what got him." Taking another hard drag Ryoichi just shrugged when Masato and Hokuto stared at him dumbly. "It was obviously something that was swimming around in his body, like a ticking time bomb. Besides, there's no way you could give it up, Hokuto, you'd be unbearable to live with. You'd send all your patients running away screaming." He added with a smirk on his darkly handsome face. "You scare them enough as it is."

"He's got a point though, you really both would be better off not smoking. Please cut back at least, Ryoichi." Laying a hand on his best friend's shoulder Masato stared at Ryoichi intently as he turned in his seat to face him. "You aren't a heavy smoker to begin with, you should give it up now when your body's still young and strong."

"Don't worry about me." Patting Masato on the head like he was a small child Ryoichi's face took on an indulgent look. "But if it worries you that much I'll cut back."

"I'm going to bed." Hokuto announced abruptly, getting to his feet, obvious unable to take the atmosphere and the emotions churning inside him. Walking over he leaned over stiffly to brush his lips against his partner's. "I'm exhausted. Good night, Masato."

"Okay, I'll be up later." Waving him off with a careless hand Ryoichi turned back to Masato as the younger man said his own good byes. Soon the two were back to talking about Hazuki and Hokuto walked out to leave them alone, heading for the stairs that led to the second story of the loft where their bedroom was, unaware of his silent shadow. Walking over to the bed he sat down and buried his face in his hands, his whole body shaking with the suppressed emotion as he mourned for a student who's life was ending...and his own which was just as ill fated.

* * *

In the blink of an eye Umeda found himself once again in the same hallway as before, Juliet walking towards him with a wave of greeting. "You're thinking that this is a worse case scenario, aren't you? That that isn't how he's going to treat you all the time, right? Well you're right of course, but that doesn't change the facts. It doesn't change him. Cause he isn't going to change, Uncle Hokuto. We both now that." Taking his hand once more she squeezed in gently in a comforting manner. "He always smiles but he never really means it. I don't like it when he comes to visit with you. He always seems so fake and Mommy says we have to be nice to him cause you love him. But do you really love him, Uncle Hokuto..or the man you know he could be if he really loved you enough to change the things he does that hurts you?"

"You're too young to understand." Was his harsh response, not a tone of voice he would have used around a child under normal circumstances. That little scene had been a slap to the face, a scene he knew he was likely to walk in on again and again if Ryoichi ever let him into his life like that.

"Well here's the other alternative, the one I like best."

Again the elevator chimed and again he watched himself come out of it as before, his appearance and demure the same as the last time the scene had played out. Once again compelled to follow by unseen forces Umeda walked through the doorway once more. The closet was still messy but almost cheerfully so and in the hallway was framed photographs that he looked over while his older self put his stuff away. He knew many of the people in the pictures, his family, a grown up Mizuki and her now all grown up classmates. His gaze catching on one in particular he stared at the wedding picture, smiling widely at the picture of a long haired, glowing Mizuki, complete with white wedding dress as she stood beside her elegantly dressed groom. Well at least Mizuki landed her man in the end, Umeda thought to himself, she'd certainly earned it. Looking away he watched as again his older self walked down the hallway to stop in the doorway to stare into the living room once again, like a bad rerun in a different setting. Coming up behind once more Umeda's eyes widened as he stared at the familiar figure of internationally known photographer Akiha Hara, sitting on his leather couch, head bent as he flipped through some glossy prints with the woman he recognized as the man's ex wife sitting at his side. They were chatting away in technical terms that made no sense to him and after a pause to watch them a moment he once again headed into the kitchen with his other self. Raising an eyebrow at the difference Umeda noted that this kitchen was the exact opposite of it's earlier self with a very homey, very sweet, very used feeling to it. Could Akiha cook? It was the only logical explanation since he sure as hell couldn't. Huh...a roommate that could cook...bonus. So Akiha was useful for something. Watching himself go over to the large refrigerator he had to laugh as he looked inside the well packed space. The fridge's shelves were obviously segregated with all Akiha's sugary, calorie inducing substances on one side with his own much healthier, much less lethal food on the other. That works. No need to sniff the milk this time either, as his older self got a glass and chugged it down before heading back towards the living room.

* * *

Stepping in Hokuto walked over to say hi to Ebi before he headed upstairs to try and outrun this nightmare of a day in sleep. He'd leave them to work on their project, he knew that they were on the clock on this one with all the last minute changes the company employing them kept making. Besides, it wasn't like he was fit company at the moment.

"I think this is the one we've got to use, Ebi. The other one is better but this is the one those bastards will prefer. Like they know art." Akiha was saying in disgust as he handed the photo to his ex wife before turning his head in the direction of his lover. "Hey, how was...what the hell!" On his feet in a flash the pictures he'd been holding spilled onto the floor as Akiha took the steps necessary to get over to Hokuto, grabbing his shoulders. "What the hell happened to you? Are you okay? Did something happen to your mom, dad, Mizuki?"

Giving in to the need to lean Hokuto relaxed against Akiha, sighing in relief as Akiha's arms came around his waist to support him as he laid his head on the younger man's sturdy shoulder. "That student I told you about, it's cancer."

"Ah hell, the wannabe Michael Jordan right? Damn, I'm so sorry." Tightening his hold Akiha hugged him closer, naturally fitting their bodies together as he sought to comfort. "How bad is it? What did the doctors say?"

"Odds aren't good."

"That's awful." Ebi said as she finished picking up the pictures and put them back down on the coffee table. "That poor boy. Akiha mentioned him a couple of days ago, how worried you were about him."

"Well he's not beaten yet." Akiha reminded both of them, rubbing his hands soothingly up and down his lover's back. "If he's an athlete than he knows how to work and fight hard for something, we can't just count him out yet. Miracles happen everyday, or so Mizuki always says. You'll have to remind him of that, Hokuto, in case he forgets. There's always a chance if you want it bad enough."

"Exactly." Smiling Ebi walked over to pat Hokuto's shoulder in a show of support. "Anyway, I'll let myself out, you take care of your man, Akiha and I'll see you tomorrow." Leaning over she kissed Hokuto on the cheek. "Good luck." With a little wave she left them to head out, closing the door behind her.

"Have you eaten?" Akiha asked, drawing back slightly as he cupped Hokuto's face between his hands, studying his man's face with his all seeing eyes.

"I couldn't, I just want to go to bed."

"Okay then. We'll head to bed, love."

* * *

This time, when Umeda found himself standing in the hallway he found Juliet curled up in a ball against the wall, a teddy bear in her arms as she slept on unaware. Walking over Umeda got down on one knee and gently shook her awake, watching her blink up at him in confusion. "Sleeping on the job, Christmas Yet to Come?" He asked, trying to find humor where there was little to be found. The scene he'd just watched had hit him just as hard as the one before it. Right now, all he wanted to do was return to his bed and wake up to find out he hadn't missed Christmas yet. Or in this case, first period.

"Hey, I'm only five. This is way past my bedtime, Uncle Hokuto." She reminded him with a loud yawn, getting to her feet with his help. "So was that one a little better?" She asked, the smile on her face saying plainly that she already knew the answer to her question.

"Once again, I don't see the point in all this." Raking a hand through his already mussed hair Hokuto stared down at her intently, his eyes swirling with too many emotions to count. "There's nothing I just saw that changes my opinion of either of them. Just because you painted Ryoichi as the insensitive jerk and Akiha as god's gift to men doesn't make it so. I know them both really well, you know. Better than you do. I know how they are and they certainly aren't like that twenty four seven."

"The point of all this wasn't just to point out which one of them is Prince Charming, Uncle Hokuto. Like you just said, you know them, know what they're like."

"Then what was the point, kid?"

"You have to figure that out for yourself of course. If I told you that would be cheating." She informed him as she hugged her bear against her chest. "But maybe, you should think about what it says about you."

Raising an eyebrow at that cryptic little response Umeda wasn't sure what to think anymore. His night just kept getting weirder and weirder every time he blinked. Literally. "This is so stupid. This is all just a dream anyway. I'm going to wake up any minute and none of this is going to matter a damn. After an hour, I won't even remember it."

"Wanna bet?"


	3. Facing Facts

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them all in, the poor bastards. Everything else belongs to someone else and therefore I can only manipulate so much. Thanks to all my readers out there, I hope you enjoy this latest chap!

Facing Facts

Waking up with a start Umeda found himself covered in sweat, breathing hard and with a rather loud ringing in his ears that gave him one more reason to wince in pain. Forcing his aching body to move as he rolled over and onto his back Umeda stared blindly up at the ceiling fan, trying to focus and figure out what the hell was going on. The ringing in his ears was distracting as hell, droning out everything else as he tried to focus and remember where he was and why he felt like hell warmed over. He was sick, that was pretty obvious. When had he gotten home? How had he gotten home for that matter. At the sound of a beep Umeda slowly turned his head to the right, realizing a little too late that the ringing in his ears had been the phone. Well, at least it had stopped ringing now. That was one less thing to worry about.

"Hey, where the hell are you? I've been waiting for half an hour. I'm leaving."

And that was all she wrote, Umeda thought darkly as the message clicked off, the annoying machine calling out the date and time of the call. Or all Ryoichi had to say in this case. Rubbing a hand over his sweaty face Umeda couldn't even bring himself to be overly concerned or even bothered by the fact that Ryoichi was angry at him. He had bigger problems than that. Like the fact that he was seriously ill and in no condition to take care of himself. Dammit. And at times like this, there was really only one person to call. Unfortunately. Slowly edging his way across the bed he reached out and grasping his phone from the stand, pulling it over and feeling the buttons out with his fingers, pushing two to speedial the one person all boys call when they're feeling sick and cranky. "Mama?" Umeda began when she picked up the phone of the third ring. "I'm really sick. Can you come over?"

* * *

It was ten days later before Umeda was well enough to come back to school. He probably could have done with a couple more days of rest but there was really only so much coddling and fussing he could take. That was always the problem with involving your mother in your life problems, He thought with a sigh. Sure they could often fix things ten times faster than you but there was always a catch in the form of them not wanting to leave you alone once they were there. His mother had always liked playing Florence Nightingale a little too much and if Minami hadn't caught the damn cold too he probably would have never been able to get rid of her this early. Well, he was back and that all that mattered. Sighing now with relief Umeda lost all the air in his lungs as someone came bursting through his office door before he'd even finished opening it. Since that someone was hugging him tight enough to cut off circulation and was too short to be Akiha it wasn't hard to figure out who the blur was even before he looked down to see the top of Mizuki's head, the girl's face buried against his shirt. "Well hello to you too." Not at all surprised to see her eyes all shimmery with emotion when she tipped up her head to look up at him, Umeda patted her head awkwardly. "Long time no see."

Loosening her hold slightly Mizuki beamed up at him, so glad that he was back and looking so much better then he had. "I'm so glad to see you! Nanba said you were going to try to come back today so I was waiting for you!" She'd been really worried about him, especially since Nanba had said his uncle rarely got sick but when he was sick he was really, really sick. As soon as she'd heard that Umeda's mom was staying with him, she'd known it had to be serious. But he was back and except for being a little pale he looked as good as ever.

"He did, did he?" Which reminded him, he'd promised to stop at the house to check on the brat after school. Dammit. That was one of the main pains about being a doctor, always being called upon to take care of any member of the family when they were ill, Umeda thought as he stepped out of her embrace. Oh well, at least it wasn't Io. Now she was Satan herself when she was sick. He'd rather walk in front of a train first.

"Yup, we went over to see him yesterday after school. I got an e-mail from Rio saying that he was sick too so I went to see him with the other guys to hang out and keep him company for a little while. Thankfully we were able to sneak out without Nakao finding out or who knows what would have happened." Mizuki grinned knowingly as she reached out to take his briefcase from his hand, turning to walk them back inside his office. "You should have seen Nanba's face when we all walked in and he realized Nakao wasn't with us. He looked so relieved, it was so funny! I made all the guys promise not to tell him, so that Minami could get better without Nakao hanging off him twenty four seven. Not that Nakao would make it worse on purpose, he just would by accident and then feel really bad about it later. I'm really hoping he doesn't find out. I don't even want to think about what he'd do to me!"

Watching her set his briefcase on his desk before heading over to the coffee maker to start some for them, Umeda couldn't help but think that she was one of God's small gifts to him. She just made his friggin day, without even trying or realizing it. In many ways she was the exact opposite of him and yet he knew he'd miss her like crazy when she went back to America once she graduated. But she'd keep in touch, he didn't doubt it for a minute. She would be his friend until the day she died or vice versa. In the two years he'd known her, she'd perhaps become the best friend he'd ever had. And why the hell had he never realized that until now? It didn't even embarrass him.

He had been doing a lot of deep thinking recently, when he wasn't drugged out of his mind with his mother's home remedies. There had been a lot to think about. His professional life was good but his personal life was thoroughly messed up and he didn't even know when it had started to get so out of hand. But that fight with Akiha, coupled with that crazy, drug induced dream, had made him start to wonder just what the hell he was thinking, living the way he was. Did he want to spend the rest of his life alone, waiting for Ryoichi to suddenly realize what he was missing, keeping him at arm's length? The answer was no, he didn't. He was tired of living on dreams and could bes. He wouldn't wait because he was starting to accept the fact that Ryoichi was never going to come to that conclusion. Ever. He..Ryoichi just wasn't capable of it, was too afraid and scarred to risk the sort of relationship Umeda wanted with him. No, Ryoichi would never trust anyone the way he trusted Masato. Would never love anyone the way he loved Masato, if you could call what was between those two love. Umeda wouldn't, but that could be old resentments coming through. No, Ryoichi would never love him and Umeda had reached the conclusion that he was never going to find love if he didn't let Ryoichi go. So he was going to let him go. He would lock away the love he'd always had for him and put it away for good. It was the only thing to do. What to do about Akiha..well he hadn't figured that part out yet.

* * *

"There, that should be done shortly." Turning to smile at Umeda Mizuki gave him a questioning look as she studied his face critically. He had the weirdest expression on his face. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face again?" She had been in a hurry to eat breakfast so that she'd get here before he did.

"No, I'm just tired."

Frowning Mizuki marched over and surprised the doctor by tugging him down to her reach before placing the back of her hand against his forehead, lifting her other hand to compare his temperature to her own. "You do feel on the warm side. You should definitely take it easy today. Don't want a relapse after all."

"That's the plan." Gently lifting her hand off his forehead Umeda straightened then walked over to take a seat behind his desk, sinking into it was a small sigh. It was damn good to be back. "So what's new with you and Sano? Anything interesting to report?" He'd had enough self reflection for the day.

Blushing slightly at the mentioning of her crush Mizuki shook her head. "No, he's been pretty busy with his training. I haven't seen him much this week outside of class and at meals. I go to watch him though sometimes, with Yujiro." Watching him open the top drawer Mizuki winced then blurted out what she'd done since he would notice right away anyway. "And I took out your last pack of cigarettes. You can have them back when you're all better."

Raising an eyebrow Umeda looked down to see that indeed, she'd stolen his last pack of cigarettes from his drawer. Now wasn't that unexpected. Raises his eyes to meet hers again he wasn't at all surprised to see her squirming and looking absolutely miserable. But she'd stay firm, she always did when it was important. "You can throw them out."

"Huh?" That had not been the response she'd been expecting. She'd been trying for months to help him cut back, without much success. And now he suddenly didn't care what she did with a nearly full pack?

"I'm quitting. It's a filthy habit." And it was going to be an hellish habit to break, Umeda thought with a small wince while she gapped at him in surprise. If he weren't so drugged up at the moment, he would probably already be getting the urge for a smoke and it was only eight in the morning. But no, giving up smoking was number three on his to do list and he was going to complete it if it killed him. And frankly, as a doctor, he knew very well just how his smoking could kill him if he kept it up. He'd ignored the facts long enough and it was time to grow up and take responsibility for his actions. He had a lot to do in his life and if he wanted to be around to do it he'd better quit inhaling toxic chemicals on a regular basis. His current plan was to switch from smoking to caffeine, which wouldn't kill him but was still bad for him. Especially if he was the one making it instead of Mizuki.

"That's great!" Beaming it was plain Umeda had made the girl's day. "I'll help you!"

* * *

"So he said he's probably going to traumatize everyone in the school at least once but he's going to give it his best shot." Her face wreathed in smiles Mizuki finished telling Ebi all about why she was so happy today. "I just know he can do it, Ebi. I mean it's going to be really hard but he's one of those people who once his mind's set, there's just no changing it."

Pleased that her friend was so happy Ebi patted Mizuki affectionately on the head. "That's great, Mizuki. I hope he pulls it off."

"Pulls what off?" Akiha asked, walking over to them, his bandana in his hand. They were finally finished the shoot and he was ready for some sugar and conversation. Grabbing one of the cookies Mizuki had been sent to get him Akiha bit into the chocolate ship cookie while watching Mizuki expectantly.

"Doctor Umeda, he's going to quit smoking." Knowing how much Akiha liked Umeda Mizuki had no doubt he'd be as thrilled over the news as she was. "He told me today."

Flinching ever so slightly Akiha forced himself to keep more personal emotions from his face as he looked at her in controlled interest. "That doesn't sound like him. He's been smoking since he was second year at least."

"Well he is. He said he's starting now, since he's already had to go ten days without them, cause he was so sick."

"He caught that flu that was going around?" Ebi asked, chewing on her own cookie while she watched her ex husband rather than Mizuki. Something was up and she was finally getting an idea what that something was. Akiha had been off for the last ten days and wasn't that just an interesting coincidence. But Akiha had seemed more angry then worried, which made no sense. Not that reading Akiha was ever easy.

Nodding Mizuki helped herself to a cookie too. "Yeah, really bad too. His mom said it was because he always convinces himself he's not sick because he hates being sick so much. He tells himself he's not sick so he doesn't treat it early on when it could be handled easily. You know Doctor Umeda is really sick when he lets his mother move in with him for a week."

"They don't get along?"

"No, they do..sorta. Well he definitely gets along better with her than Io, his older sister. You have to meet his mom to get it. She's..very young at heart." Mouth twitching in a grin at the understatement that was Mizuki turned her head to look at Akiha questioningly. "Did you get it too, Akiha? I was surprised when you didn't come and see me to find out where he was all last week."

"I've been busy with work."

* * *

Now Mizuki joined Ebi as the two looked at Akiha in a way that had the man feeling like he was under a microscope. Fighting the urge to squirm Akiha wasn't about to explain why he hadn't come around the school, or why he didn't intend to visit now, unless it was to see Mizuki. No, his days of visiting the grumpy doctor had come to an end. It was for the best.

Okay, something was definitely up here, Ebi thought, her eyes narrowing even as she forced a cheerful smile in Mizuki's direction. "Speaking of work, Mizuki, can you go see about those boxes we asked to be shipped to this location? I still haven't heard from anyone when they're going to be delivered and it's important that someone's here to sign for them. That stuff's way too valuable to be left where anyone can get into it."

"Sure, I'll go check now." Winking at Ebi, a silent communication that she knew what Ebi was up to, Mizuki smiled at Akiha then took off to the next room to make the call for Ebi. Hopefully, Ebi would be able to figure out what was going on between Umeda and Akiha and fill her in later.

"So want to tell me why you've suddenly lost interest in the man that's fascinated you since you were a first year?" Ebi asked as she crossed her arms in front of her, giving her ex a knowing look. "And don't try to tell me it's none of my business because you're wrong. You are my business. If there's something wrong between you two it needs to be fixed or it's going to weigh on you and your pictures are going to reflect that."

Eating another cookie before answering Akiha gave a shrug that came off as jerky rather then indifferent. "We're just too different. I mean the guy's given me enough bruises that people have asked me if I've been in an accident. I'm looking out for my health."

"If you gave a damn about your health you'd eat food instead of sugar coated everything."

"I don't put sugar on everything."

"You would if it didn't taste so bad. I bet you used to put sugar on everything as a kid, just to see whether or not whatever it was was still edible."

Ebi just knew him too damn well. "Look, it's no big deal. I'll be fine and so will he. Especially if he really does manage to kick his habit." Shoving his hands in his pockets Akiha didn't even feel like another cookie and he'd only had two. Things just weren't as sweet anymore. As good anymore. He missed popping in on Umeda dammit. He missed the flirting, the threats, the stolen moments that gave him hope it wasn't all one sided. Umeda would sooner cut out his tongue then admit there was moments the need was mutual but Akiha was a master of the human face. He had studied that sexy, scowling face for years and knew it better than Umeda himself did. No, his favorite doctor hadn't liked those moments of shared intimacy but they'd been there and they'd been mutual. Not that they'd ever gone anywhere. Would never go anywhere now. If he was honest, he knew that was going to be the greatest regret of his life. But he'd tried, at least he'd tried. That was more then Umeda could say. And perhaps, in a way, he and the doctor had been closer then Umeda and Kijima would ever be. That was something


	4. Through The Lens

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way it's going to be. Thanks to all my reviewers out there and please continue, cause I love to hear from you all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

Through the Lens

Standing outside the door, with his hands shoved into his pockets, Umeda waited impatiently for someone to answer. He just wanted to get this done and over with, seeing as he really wasn't sure whether he wanted Ryoichi to open the door or not. It would be brief and to the point, that's just the way it was when dealing with Ryoichi. Unfortunately, that didn't mean this would be any easier. In fact, it sorta made it worse. When the door finally did open, revealing a shirtless Ryoichi, Umeda had to take a deep breath before he launched into his prepared speech, doing his best not to look and salivate. "Hey. I just wanted to come by and apologize for standing you up before. I passed out and by the time I woke up your message was on the machine and I was ready to call 911 if my mother wasn't home. I caught that damn bug that was going around, and it sort of hit me out of nowhere." The asshole had probably looked through the peephole and seen who it was, hence the lack of shirt just to torment him, Umeda thought darkly as he waited for a response. Ryoichi was twisted that way. Come to think of it, he was twisted that way too. And here Akiha had always said he and Ryoichi had nothing in common.

"You mean you ignored it until it knocked you flat."

"Pretty much, yeah." You could never really read Ryoichi, Umeda thought as he watched Ryoichi watch him with those pitch black eyes. You could sense it, get a hint of something occasionally, but you really had to know him to get any idea at all what was going through his mind. Unfortunately, he was still pretty drugged up at the moment so being that observant was beyond him for the time being.

"Want to come in for a drink?"

Biting back his automatic acceptance, a habit he'd had since they'd met in high school, Umeda forced himself to hold in the words. He'd always done whatever he had to do to be around Ryoichi, had sacrificed countless plans and opportunities because Ryoichi had shown an interest in getting together. No matter how many times he'd been stood up, no matter how much it galled him to know that Ryoichi knew the power he had over him, Umeda knew he'd always given Ryoichi the understanding that he would always come running, like the dog Akiha had compared him to. That had to end, it was the only way something good could come of any of the crap that had happened between them over the years. They had too much history to throw it away, but not necessarily enough to tie them together forever. "Thanks, but I have somewhere I have to be. Maybe some other time." There was a flicker in those dark depths, and Umeda could see that Ryoichi had picked up on the change and was even now trying to analyze it's meaning. Trying to figure out just what angle he was playing. He was a psychiatrist's son after all. "Anyway, I just wanted to apologize in person. I'll see you around maybe?" It would take time, but they could slip into being friends. It would be new for them, but a necessary change. They'd skipped that really, since he doubted that Ryoichi had ever thought of him that way.

"What's so important, that you have to run off?" Ryoichi finally asked.

"I promised a friend of mine a ride home. And I have to apologize to someone else for screwing things up with them too."

Ryoichi paused, as if he intended to say something, but nothing came out. Instead he nodded his head slightly and stepped back through his doorway, reaching for the door handle. "Good night then."

"Night."

* * *

The set was in an uproar and Akiha was having a great deal of fun visualizing strangling his model as she sat in her chair pouting, while her manager tried to make her understand that making an enemy of Akiha Hara was not a good idea. And enemy she was. Akiha didn't care how hot she looked on camera, he was never working with this woman again. She'd complained about the set, her wardrobe, her make up, she'd complained so much her fellow male model had walked out and even now they were waiting for a replacement to arrive. If Akiha hadn't owed a favor to the head of the company the advertisement was for, he'd have walked out too. Turning his head he saw that Mizuki looked ready to pass out where she stood, rubbing her eyes as she continued to alternate between casting weary looks at the model and looking at her watch. "Mizuki." Waiting until she came over Akiha reached out and patted her sympathetically on the shoulder. The model had not been kind to Mizuki the last time the girl had tried to help and Akiha had a feeling that she, along with the rest of the crew, felt they'd earned hazard pay for this job. "You know, you can head back to your dorm if you want. This could take a while and you have school tomorrow." 

"My ride will be here in ten minutes, otherwise I'd stay." Because the newscast had predicted heavy rainfall, Doctor Umeda had offered to pick her up from the shoot and she'd told him eleven at the latest, because she'd assumed they'd all be done by then.

"Someone's coming to get you?"

Nodding her head Mizuki thought it best not to express her belief that Umeda was simply using her as an excuse to see Akiha. Akiha was stressed out enough as it was without her telling him that Umeda was coming to get hopefully make up with him. "Yeah, Doctor Umeda offered. He says with my luck I'd end up with a homicidal cab driver or a bus driver who will fall asleep at the wheel."

Great, that was all he needed, Akiha thought, feeling his headache increase. Now, on top of everything else, he had to deal with seeing Umeda tonight. Someone just shoot me please.

"Well it's about time."

* * *

Turning his head to see what the model was staring at Akiha flinched as he watched Umeda walk into the room, looking incredibly sexy in a ankle length leather jacket, paired with a stylish and pricey pair of black slacks. His hair was just a little damp from the rain and as a whole Akiha thought he looked more appetizing than a Candyland. Akiha watched as move Umeda made, his eyes narrowing as the model sauntered over to the doctor, a sexy little smile on her face. The femme fatale look she was famous for was slipping effortlessly onto her stunning face, Akiha noted darkly. Too bad you're wasting it on him. 

"So you're the replacement model? We were about to give up hope you'd arrive before midnight. But I must say, you're definitely worth the wait." Giving him her best come hither gaze the model held out her hand, subtly throwing her hair over her shoulder as she did so. "I'm Akira Tomoyo, pleasure." Dressed in a skimpy negligee covered only by a short robe, she was definitely looking her best, and things were definitely looking up, now that she'd caught sight of the replacement. Yummy.

Blinking once Umeda took the hand offered, not quite sure what the hell was going on. A model? What exactly was going on here and why was this woman coming on to him in front of everyone? Had Akiha put her up to this? "Hokuto Umeda, nice to meet you."

"Well I'll let you get ready for our close up, seeing as we're pressed for time." Winking the model slowly withdrew her hand from his, deliberately raking her long nails against his hand. "Don't keep me waiting too long, handsome." Turning she deliberately sauntered back to her chair with plenty of swing in her hips.

Since being female she did nothing for him Umeda paid her no real attention as he walked over to meet Mizuki who was headed his way. "What's going on?" He asked in a low voice, so the model couldn't hear them. He could see Akiha out of the corner of his eye, but the photographer seemed to be ignoring him for the time being.

"The original model quit and so far his replacement hasn't shown up. She must think you're him."

So that was it. Umeda was surprised Akiha was putting up with the model's crap, since according to Mizuki he was actually professional when it came to his work. The model must be a big name, though he didn't recognize her from anywhere. Not that it really mattered, since he had no intention of..wait a second. An idea forming, Umeda gave Mizuki a questioning look. "What's the ad for exactly?"

"Men's cologne. It actually smells really good. The guy over there, the one talking to Akiha, he's an executive for the company and he brought some with him for Akiha as a thank you gift."

Pondering this Umeda turned his idea over in his head, looking for the inadvertable flaws that people like Mizuki missed all the time because they never thought things through. Agreeing to do this modeling thing wouldn't exactly put him in Akiha's good books, but it would help him to get there faster at a later date. The idea of modeling anything, least of all cologne, was less than thrilling, but tolerable in the long run. At least it wasn't an underwear ad. Wait a minute..bingo. Recalling the woman's lack of clothing Umeda could see a definite flaw. However immodest he might be, his mother would never forgive him if he posed naked or nearly naked in an ad for all the world to see. She'd have Io kill him first.

* * *

Brushing aside Akiha's hissed objections the executive in question walked over to Doctor Umeda and Mizuki, politely interrupting them before Umeda could ask her more about the ad. "Excuse me, sorry to interrupt. Akiha says that you aren't the model, that you're just here to pick up one of his staff?" 

"That's right."

"Ah. Well as you can see we're in a bit of a bind, a really bad one actually. We have a deadline on this shoot and if we don't get some pictures now, some good pictures, we're all in a lot of trouble. Now Akiha tells me that there's no way you'd agree to pose for him and I understand that not being a model and all, this might seem strange and intimidating to you. But we're willing to pay top dollar and Akiha really is the best photographer there is. He'll make you look amazing, no question about it."

Shaking his head behind his friend's shoulder Akiha didn't even look at Umeda. There was no way Umeda would ever agree to this. The sexy doctor was more likely to make out with him in his VW Bug than he was to pose in front of a camera. Umeda hated getting his picture taken and Akiha had had the bruises to prove it.

"What would I have to wear or not wear?"

Blinking in shock Akiha barely heard his friend explain, his gaze turning sharply to look at Umeda, who was watching him out of the corner of his eye as well. What was going on? It couldn't be the money his friend was blathering on about, seeing as Umeda had more money at his disposal than the fragrance company probably did. His parents were loaded after all. Was Umeda doing this for Mizuki's sake?

"You can waive the fee." Meeting Akiha's gaze for the first time Umeda smiled faintly. "I'll do it as a favor to a friend. Ashiya, lead the way." Giving Akiha a cocky salute Umeda put his hands in his pockets and followed after Mizuki as she led the way to where the make up would be done.

Elbowing Akiha in the side his friend grinned wildly. "And you said there was no way in hell he'd help you out. He's even waiving the fee!"

"He's just full of surprises." Was all Akiha could think to say.

"Well he's even better looking than the model we had in the first place. He's going to sell gallons of the stuff, just you wait and see."

* * *

Once Ebi was done putting the make up on Umeda rejoined the group, wearing only his black slacks. His hair was artfully tussled now and his cheekbones and eyes expertly highlighted, giving them new depth and visibility. His glasses had been given to Mizuki for safe keeping and he kept a careful eye around him to make sure he didn't run into anything. He could see big objects no problem but it wouldn't be the first time he fell end over end because of his lack of glasses. 

"Well don't you just look good enough to eat." The other model purred, motioning him over to the set which was essentially an ornamental bed, with side drapes and everything. It looked like something out of a Victorian era, though Umeda's vision was so blurry that all he was really sure of was the fact that the drapes and bedding were black with red accents.

Silently agreeing with the model Akiha did his best not to stare, not having seen Umeda's bare chest since they were in high school and their gym classes had been scheduled back to back. It was amazing that someone as lazy as Umeda had such a nice chest. It wasn't overly muscled, but what was there was toned, as well as the arms that looked strong and capable as they hung at their owner's sides. It was a swimmer's build, or a runner's maybe. Not that Umeda ever ran anywhere, unless it was away from him or Io san. "Well lets get this party started so that we can get this over and done with." The sooner this was over, the sooner he could go home, and like the sap that he was drool over Umeda's pictures like a lovesick moron. "Ebi, if you could do a last minute check on her make up, and you can explain what we're looking for while I help adjust the lights to suit."

Surprised, since Akiha was all about telling the models what to do, Ebi figured she knew who to blame and went over to meet him. He wasn't a people person, but she'd known that ahead of time. She also noticed that while she was explaining the shoot to him his gaze strayed in Akiha's direction more than once. She didn't have to have eyes in the back of her head to know that Akiha was doing the exact same thing. Men, always making things more difficult then they had to be, Ebi thought with a sigh. Since there was only so much fiddling Akiha could do with the lights they were soon ready to go and Ebi left the two models to do their best so that they could all finally get the hell out of here. It wasn't that hard a shoot either, Ebi thought, as she watched from the sidelines. Basically the two just had to look hot and sexy, not something either had a problem with since they both oozed sexuality. They were the sort of people that had both sexes turning their heads, regardless of sexual orientation. Akiha was surprisingly silent Ebi noted, only occasionally calling out a suggestion or request. He seemed to be leaving it all up to the models, as if he were lost in his own little world. This wasn't like him at all. The female model was a professional, so of course she knew what she was doing, but the doctor was definitely not giving off the same vibes. Oh he was oozing sex appeal all right, but it was also coming across that he had little interest in the woman who was so seductively draped against him as he leaned back against the bed's headboard. Thankfully Ebi hadn't been with Akiha this long, not to know what needed to be done. "Umeda, look at the camera instead of at her." It was time she saw for herself, just what was in the doctor's eyes when he looked at her ex husband.

* * *

Blinking Umeda slowly lifted his gaze from the clinging annoyance to look directly into the camera. Smart girl, that ex wife of Akiha's. As Mizuki and Akiha were always telling him, a lens picked up the truth in a person's face and showed it to the world. The fact that he'd sooner be chained to his sister for a week than get naked with the woman deliberately trying to get a rise out of him, pun intended, must be coming through. So she'd asked him to look at Akiha, who he most certainly wasn't indifferent too. Well here we go, Umeda thought, taking a deep breath then letting it out. The moment of truth. He'd let Akiha see what was there to see. No holding back this time. 

Physically jolting at the look that had come into Umeda's eyes Akiha snapped pictures automatically, forgetting all about the other model and concentrating solely on recording the look that had come into Umeda's eyes out of nowhere. The look in them, the heat and passion in them. All aimed..towards him. It was what he'd always wanted, dreamed about, hoped to see directed at him someday.

How he felt about Akiha, that was just too complicated to explain, Umeda thought as he watched Akiha watch him through the lens of the camera. The emotions were complex and varying, seeming to change in an instant to something else, something even more intangible than the last. Some might have given them labels like lust and need, anger and frustration. Fascination and annoyance, pleasure and pain perhaps. But those were weak words. Words that were too easily used and thrown around by society to explain the unexplainable.

What was there was even more complex than the feelings he had for Ryoichi. Which was sure as hell saying something, Umeda thought to himself, never taking his eyes off Akiha for a second. And that was why, no matter what, he'd never let Akiha see any of the things reflected in his eyes. Because he hadn't wanted the all seeing photographer to realize, to ever see, just how much he was afraid of what Akiha could make him feel.


	5. In Your Eyes

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else and that's just the way's it's gotta be so deal with it. Thanks to all my faithful readers out there, I hope you enjoy this latest and last chapter!

In Your Eyes

The actual shoot itself only lasted a half an hour, but for Umeda and Akiha, it was an eternity that stretched them to the breaking point, leaving them feeling raw and vulnerable to each other. Both highly skilled at hiding their emotions and reactions from others, they both had their professional faces in place when the shoot was finally called to a halt, acting as if nothing strange had occurred as Umeda got off the bed and Akiha handed his camera over to his assistant. Of course everyone could sense, instinctively, the chemistry between the two, but no one mentioned it, merely letting the two be.

Walking over Mizuki handed the doctor his glasses, wondering how her friend would take it if she told him how awesome he'd been. Sano had hated it when she'd gone on and on about how hot he'd looked when he'd gotten his pictures taken. Then again, given Umeda's ego and somewhat narcissistic personality, flattery was probably a must. "You were really great, I bet those pictures will turn out amazing."

Slipping his glasses on Umeda put his hands to his back, stretching out the kinks as he didn't quite meet her eye. Observant as she was when it had nothing to do with her, Umeda thought it wise to watch what he said for the next few minutes, while he got himself back under complete control. "Of course, I was in them."

Grinning in amusement Mizuki stuck her hands in her pockets, rocking back and forth on her heels. "If you want to come back to the make up room, Ebi can get off all that stuff they put on your face and than we can head."

"Sounds good to me." Following her once more Umeda paused to look in Akiha's direction, their eyes meeting for a moment before Umeda turned on his heels and continued after his student, wondering just what, if any break through he'd made with the photographer.

Watching Umeda go until he was out of sight Akiha didn't know what to think about anything anymore. Was the agreeing to be photographed Umeda's way of apologizing for the fight they had? And what had been up with that expression and the hidden meanings in those damn eyes of his. Had they simply been faked, put on for the camera because that was what the doctor had thought the picture called for? Akiha didn't know what the hell to believe and just thinking about it drained what little energy he had left. Brushing off his friend's comments about the success of the shoot Akiha got away as soon as he could, retrieving his camera from his assistant so that he could take it with him. All around him was the sounds of people packing up and getting ready to leave, the sounds not nearly as comforting as they usually were. It was as if everything around him was blurry and the sounds mere echoes of things long past. Only himself and the camera he held were real, his one hold on reality. Through that lens, he saw the truth and would know the truth, once he saw what it had produced.

* * *

Once he was dressed and make up free Umeda told Mizuki to wait for him for just a minute while he hunted out Akiha, who he eventually found in an abandoned hallway that connected to the room they'd been shooting in. The photographer was leaning back against the wall, still dressed in the T-shirt and jeans from before, the bright orange bandana an interesting contrast to his lime green shirt. And people said his wardrobe was too colorful, Umeda thought as he walked over, his hands automatically going into his pockets as Akiha's head swerved to look at him, looking away from the camera for the first time. "Do you think you got what they needed?"

Straightening so that he was standing at his full height Akiha nodded his head slowly, feeling truly awkward and unsure around Umeda for really the first time in his life. "I got some good shots."

"That's good." And what idiots they sounded like, Umeda thought, not sure whether he was amused by it or saddened, that they were being reduced to this. No, that he had reduced them to this. The fact that he could do this to Akiha had never even occurred to him, so foreign was the idea that Akiha could be anything less than his vibrant, emotional self. To see him so withdrawn, yes, that hurt him more than he would have expected. And that had to stop. But God how he hated to apologize for anything, Umeda thought, forcing himself to swallow the crow and do precisely that. "Look, I...I came here to apologize for the things I said and did before. I'm a bastard to begin with, so when I'm sick...I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." It was a casual answer Akiha cursed himself for making, but it was the only answer he could give. The only thing he could say to protect himself from letting Umeda see just how much he had been hurt and angered by what had been said and done. He was too drained, too tired, too everything. He just couldn't deal with this right now.

He was being shut out, held at bay. Umeda could see the strain on Akiha's face, hear it even in those four simple words. Now was not the time to push the issue. He'd taken a step, now it was time to let Akiha decide whether or not to let him keep walking or push him back down that step until he was ready to try again. Nodding his head in encouragement Umeda surprised them both when he removed his right hand from his pocket and reaching out squeezed Akiha's shoulder for a moment, in a connection that was, if not a lover's touch, than one of a friend's. "Get some sleep. You need it." Removing his hand he moved it in a motion of farewell before shoving it back into his pocket, turning on his heels and exiting before Akiha could think of how to interpret Umeda's simple, but poignant gesture.

Once again left to watch the doctor depart Akiha waited until he was out of sight before he went off to find Ebi, who was his ride home for the evening. He needed to develop the film, that would answer all his questions.

* * *

When his doorbell rang at three in the friggin morning Umeda was not a happy camper. In fact, he was so pissed off that he considered going to the door butt naked, just to make a point about how much he didn't appreciate the loud awakening. The only thing that kept him from doing so was the fact that it could be a family member, in which case showing up at the door naked would definitely not be a good thing. Yanking on his slacks from earlier Umeda didn't bother putting on anything underneath and the top button remained undone, more as a statement than because of negligence. Stalking to the door Umeda threw it open and blinked sleepily at the person standing in his doorway, his sleep deprived mind still functioning enough that the biting snarl he'd intended for his unexpected guest died a quick death in his throat. "Akiha."

For his part Akiha's brain was doing some short circuiting of its own as it took in his fantasy's tousled, sleepy appearance. If it were human's possible, his tongue would be on the floor and drooling all over the place, Akiha thought, just staring at Umeda like the idiot he was.

When it became obvious that Akiha intended to just stand there and stare Umeda took a step forward and flicked the younger man in the forehead with his finger. "Oi, what is it?" True he wanted them to be on good terms, but he also wasn't the sort of person who was nice to even his closest of friends when they woke him up this early in the morning.

The flick doing the trick Akiha blinked than focused on what he had come to do. Moving like a steam roller he had Umeda instinctively backing up and back into his hallway before the doctor even knew what he was doing as he followed him in, absently kicking the door shut behind him.

"What the hell?" Unable to even see Akiha clearly in the darkness Umeda turned, walked down to the end of the hallway to flick on the hallway lights so he could see Akiha's face better. "What do you think you're doing?"

For his answer Akiha simply held up a plain manila envelope, like it held all the answers and he wasn't going to say anything until Umeda took it and looked inside. Still dressed in his bright clothes and bandana from earlier, the only addition was a black smudge on his cheek and on the shirt a stain of some sort.

Snatching the envelope from Akiha's hand Umeda opened it and tipping it over caught the six pictures it contained in his hand. Sliding them out Umeda tossed the empty envelope onto his hallway table and started flipping through the pictures, recognizing them as ones that had been taken hours before at the shoot. Looking up from the photos to find Akiha watching him like a hawk Umeda didn't know what to say. For that matter, he did know what to say, once he got a good look at Akiha's eyes. He knew that look way too well. "How much sugar have you had since I saw you last?"

"That doesn't matter."

"It does too matter." Oh yeah, Akiha was definitely riding a sugar high, never a good thing as far as Umeda was concerned. The guy was spastic enough without it. "You eat far too much of that crap. It makes you do stupid things like wake me up at three in the friggin morning."

"Says the idiot who deliberately inhales poison."

"For your information I'm quitting. Now hurry up and tell me why you're here so that I can go to bed!"

"The photos."

"What about the damn photos?" What was so important about the damn things that Akiha had come all this way just to bug the hell out of him. They looked find to him, in fact they looked pretty damn good as far as he was concerned. Of course he didn't have his glasses, but still, the guy was a professional photographer so how bad could they be?

"Your expression in the photos." Was Akiha's forceful response, practically jittering with nerves and sugar overdose. "Look at your eyes."

Giving Akiha a you can't be serious look Umeda rolled his eyes. "I don't have my glasses on."

"Then get them."

"Oh for the love of." Since he knew Akiha well enough to know that the blonde idiot wouldn't let up until he got his way Umeda set the photos down on the table and went to get his glasses. Returning moments later with them on he picked up the photos again and studied his own eyes, seeing exactly what he'd expected to see. Strong, powerful emotion that was so varied and mixed up that anyone looking at it would really have no idea what he was feeling at the moment. Only that it was elemental, primitive, dangerous. "Okay, I looked at my eyes. Now what?"

"The look in them. Who was it for? Was it for me or was it just for the camera. Were you looking at me like that?"

Ah, and once again Akiha proved that he wasn't just a pretty face with a big mouth, Umeda thought dryly. He'd expected Akiha to latch onto that very thing, though he hadn't expected the third degree to happen quite so early in the morning when he wasn't exactly at his best. Pushing back his bangs with a frustrated hand Umeda face was unreadable as he picked up the envelope and slide the pictures back into it, sealing it before holding it out to him. "I was looking at you." Umeda said simply, not for a minute giving away just how much it had costed him to say those five little words.

* * *

Staring at Umeda like he'd never seen him before Akiha slapped the envelope out of Umeda's hand so that it went flying into the hallway wall, neither paying it any attention as they glared at each other. "Then why the hell do you always turn away from me? If what you feel for me is this powerful, why won't you even give me a damn chance?"

Eyes flashing Umeda reined himself in only because he didn't want to make things worse than it already was between them. He was trying to bridge the gap he'd made before and he would undo all his work if he lashed out now, however deserving Akiha was at the moment. "Because I always thought that was best, you moron. And if you came all the way here to yell at me I'd leave now while you're still in one piece. I'm going through nicotine withdrawal right now and I cannot be held responsible for my actions if you want to pick a fight with me. Like you said, those pictures say it all. So enough said already."

"No, not enough said, dammit. Not nearly enough." Reaching out Akiha grabbed Umeda's wrist, the hold strong enough that it would probably take more strength than even Umeda had to break free from it. "Why was it for the best? Why is what makes me so damn unhappy what's best?"

The obvious had to be stated. "And do you really think having me in your life is what's best for you? Do you realize how many people in this world need therapy because they crossed paths with me?"

"Quit messing around." His tone dangerous it was obvious that Akiha had reached his limit of tolerance and was well on his way to full out rage. Yanking Umeda forward so that they stood face to face, their noses practically touching and their eyes locked with the others it was clear he wasn't going to allow Umeda to get away with vague or flippant answers. He wanted the truth and he wanted it now. "Now answer me. Truthfully. Why, Hokuto Umeda. Why?" For his sanity, for his life, Akiha had to know whether it made or broke this relationship. No more pretending, no more side tracking and half truths. If anything was going to change between them, now was that moment. That one chance fate had handed them, and that he was not going to let pass him by.

Staring into those eyes, Umeda couldn't look away, it not even occurring to him to really try. For like Akiha, he recognized the importance of this moment, knew that this was probably their one and only chance left to them. What's more, Akiha was right, he owed him this at least. "I...I...couldn't let you in...because I was afraid."

Of all the things he might have said, that was one that had never even occurred to Akiha in all the years he'd known the doctor. "You were afraid? Afraid of what? Of me?"

Shaking his head slowly Umeda forced himself to voice what he was only now starting to truly understand. "You...you see through me. You know me...better than I know myself sometimes. And you could hurt me, more than anyone I think because what I feel for you...how strong it is..and complicated and complex...I don't know what to do. What I felt and feel for Ryoichi...it's tamer, I can understand and accept it. I can deal with not having that returned. I can't...I can't deal with the fact that I don't know how to deal with how I feel about you. When I can't deal with things I avoid them..I push them away. But you won't let me do that, so instead of just being my usual bitchy self I'm even worse around you. And I don't know how to stop that or if I should stop that because I can't see how we could ever work. And if we tried to make it work and it didn't..if I lowered my guard and let all this emotion out...I don't know how I could deal with that."

Reacting instinctively, Akiha let go of Umeda's arm and simply stepped forward to wrap his arms around him, pulling him into the circle of his arms as he laid his head against the doctor's in a sweet gesture of comfort and understanding. "Don't you think it scares the hell out of me too?" He asked quietly, turning his head so that his lips brushed against the doctor's ear. "It's supposed to, when it's real. That's why I knew it wasn't with Ebi or with anyone else, because I could always manipulate the situation and the emotions I felt to suit me. But I always kept coming back to you, like a damn moth to the flame. Maybe we'll be the death of each other, but it's like being dead already, if you aren't around to keep me warm. I convinced myself it was over after high school, but than Ashiya led me back into your life and I knew, I just knew that I had to risk it all this time. But I didn't either. I kept after you but I didn't tell you what you needed to hear. That you scare the hell out of me too."

Sliding his arms up to grip the back of Akiha's shoulders Umeda held on, unable to say anything else. There was nothing else that really needed to be said. He wasn't alone in this after all. There was someone just as vulnerable and scared as he was, willing to make the journey if he was. Drawing his head back Umeda stared into those honey brown eyes, looked into them and what was there that Akiha was letting him see for the first time. Yes, just like him, Akiha was just like him. Finally, something they had, unequivocally, in common. A smile crossing his face Umeda leaned forward, brushing his lips against Akiha's before settling in for a deep, slow kiss that was as sweet, and shy, and uncertain as any first kiss should be. Sinking into it, into Akiha's arms, Umeda felt a certainty begin to form, knowing somehow, whether a delusion or not, that Juliet had been right. And like any good Scourge, he was going to listen. When he finally pulled back the smile was still on his upturned face. "Cherry lifesavers?"

Framing Umeda's face in his hands Akiha returned the soft, tender smile on his love's face. "Cherry Blasters. I know how you like sour."

"Well I suppose a little sweet can't hurt either." Umeda replied, pressing his body against Akiha's once more. "And by the way, can you really cook?"

"Yeah, but how did you know that?"

"I'll tell you all about it later."


End file.
